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Christmas should be in February

by | 3 Mar 2021 | Hills

Now that the holidays have wrapped up and the majority of people have given up on their new year’s resolution, it’s time for the grind/depression/draught of holidays that lasts pretty much until one of the many bank holidays in May around the world. It’s kind of a terrible time of year. There’s little to look forward to, and pretty much all of winter is during this draught. With that being said, the new hill I’ve decided to die on is that Christmas should be in February, and there’s a good amount of data to back it up.

1. February is the snowiest month

White Christmas imagery is infamous in the north, but Christmas is only 4 days into winter. White Christmases are a rarity—even in places that typically get snow in winter—because winter is only just getting started. This imagery not only leads to dashed hopes, but lowered expectations for the incoming doom of actual research. From my very half-assed research, people often consider December to signify winter, and I believe that is in large part to the holiday-oriented imagery we are bombarded with after Thanksgiving.

2. People need a pick-me-up by February

In general winter is a miserable season. Yes, technically winter doesn’t start until December 23, but it snowed in October the last two years. Climate disruption is real y’all, and it is messing with the seasons. Spirits are low, and cold fronts, climate volatility, and the draught of holidays create a majorly depressing time of year come February.

3. Stacked holidays mean gorging on food and rapid weight gain

I know I’m not the only one who gains several pounds between Thanksgiving and New Years, and the influx of gym memberships accompanying New Year’s resolutions proves it. Between family, friend, and work events, it’s a month—if not more—of constant grazing on indulgent holiday treats. A bit of space would mean a break after Thanksgiving (and its leftovers.) This would give the people time to reset before indulging in another round of holiday cheer. Plus, maybe New Years resolutions could help people indulge without overdoing it.

4. Jesus wasn’t even born in December, so the date is symbolic to begin with

Depending on what record is checked, Jesus was born between April and October. Holidays were moved to accommodate different calendars, and as such we ended up with December 25th and January 7th for the Orthodox folks. The date was moved for arbitrary reasons before, so why not now?

5. Valentine’s day is stupid. Combine gifts to subvert capitalism and over-consumption

There is a draught of major holidays between Christmas and Easter, but obviously there are some holidays. The two holidays that come to mind are Valentine’s day and Lunar New Year. As the Lunar New Year has a basis for its date, I’m going to hone in on Valentine’s Day. This day is marketed for love but panders to consumption, not unlike Christmas. The only differences here are the color schemes, that people have an “obligation” to impress their partner, and there’s additional awareness of your singleness. Boo. Now while I would personally be fine eradicating Valentine’s Day, some do enjoy it! Still, it is best for single and partnered people alike to ease some of the pressure and stress of Valentine’s day by off-loading it to Christmas.

Post picture from: https://abcnews.go.com/Health/risk-heart-attack-peaks-christmas-eve-study/story?id=59999262

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